Self Etiquette

BOX RULES
----------------------------
SELF ETIQUETTE
You know what is awesome?... Showering! Also awesome... not being nasty and/or stanky.
I put up a quick list of (I think) sensible points. Perhaps this is common sense, but we all know that common sense  is not common. Let me elaborate on the Self-Etiquette section of the Box Rules:

Using deodorant is a great idea. Spritzing yourself with your fancy perfume or cologne is not. Continuing along that tangent, bathing in your perfume or cologne before coming to the WOD gives me angry face. I know you think that you smell adorable in your Viva Juicy perfume, or uber macho in your Coolwater cologne. It is not necessary, it's not. You aren't fooling anyone, now you smell like "desperate and B.O." Hit yourself up a bit of soap and water - it takes minutes. 


Wear clean clothes (not stinky ones). Ok, I am dude and I grew up poor. I know that some clothes can be worn, taken off, and worn again another day without need for immediate laundering. However, there are some circumstances to consider. I have a couple favorite shirts to WOD in that I've ground into the box floor and have some stains on them that I couldn't get out with rocket launcher. Still,  I know that there is a difference between dirty clothes and funky clothes. I can re-wear a shirt with a stubborn stain on it, I can not re-wear a shirt that smells like hot trashcan juice. Lastly, I know your mom told you to always have on some clean draws.

Don’t spit in the box. The same goes for any mucosal fluid.

Explanation: If you need dispense saliva, go to bathroom or outside. Do not spit in our trashcan, or else you are in charge of emptying it outside. Mucosal fluid - e.g. snot rockets, and road oysters - If you need to blow your nose do it in the bathroom or outside. If you need to cough or sneeze, cover it. *I find it slightly annoying that I have to tell grown-ass people this.*

If you puke, you clean. This should not need explanation. If you need to yak, you better make it to a suitable puke-bucket or outside. Whatever you do puke on or in, you gotta clean up. 
Fun fact, some of my favorite synonyms for puke = toss your cookies, blow chunks, ralph.


Don’t make a mess – anywhere (inside the box, in our parking area, in the bathrooms, etc.), do not litter, do not be messy. Please be a doll and respect your environment. 


If you’re contagious, stay home! Whatever you got, we don't want. You aren’t going to beat a cold or virus with one WOD. The best way to get over it is with some R&R. As a matter of fact, a tough/intense WOD may actually slightly reduce your immune system's efficacy.

On a related side-note, you should always wash your hands and you should do it many times per day.

In closing, I know that sometimes we rip our precious hands or shins and we bleed. Upon completion of your WOD, please make sure to clean up any piece of equipment that you may have bled on. We do have the adequate cleaning supplies for the equipment, and we do have an adequate first-aid kit so that you can clean your boo-boo as well.


Keepin it real is my middle name (I changed it; it used to be Herbert)
- EL Negro

CrossFit Slop

- - - - - - - BOX RULES - - - - - - -

No CrossFit Slop, no cheating, no short ROM.


Cheating = purposely miscount or “short” something. 
CrossFit slop = if you got coached to do it better and DIDN’T make the adjustment but still counted the rep. Both are considered cheating.

Did you ever hear about this ad?

Hypothetical situation: You are doing a WOD which ends with 50 burpees. Halfway through the set of 50 burpees, you notice that someone else begins their burpees. As you reach burpee #48, the other person yells "TIME!". 

Your reaction ---> WTF? Is that jerk multiplying?

You, my friend, have just been a victim of CrossFit Slop. Some people call it "snitting", some just call it cheating. Whatever you call it, I call it "asshole". This Lack of integrity is quite unfortunate but not too uncommon in the CrossFit world. 


Let's ignore the fact that you are now a BLUE FALCON - as you have wronged your box-mates.
Wait, what is a "Blue Falcon"?
Shut up, bitch, I am trying to make a point here.
Instead, I want you to think about this:
Who really is the victim here? Who is wronged by your low-balling? 
Well, princess, YOU ARE!

In the end, the greatest disservice is done to oneself. You cheat yourself out of the entirety of the WOD, which in turn deducts from the efficacy of the WOD, which in turn limits your physical benefits from the WOD, which in turn ensures that you stay a weak-ass bitch. 
*yeah, I keeps it real*
The thought of someone cheating does chap my ass. Despite that, I have to be professional. Thus, I cannot call people out. So, even though I suspect it, I won't say anything to you. I will let you do your thing. . .  mostly because I can't prove anything. You best believe that if I could prove it, I would call you out and exempt you from my WOD. In the meantime, I want you to know that you suck.

^don't be^

In Summary:
When you dish out CrossFit Slop ---> your ability to get better is not fully exploited, you become a blue falcon, you suck, and you stay a weak-ass bitch. Continue failing at life. That's whats up. 

Keep WODing like champs,


- EL Negro 

Going Green is Good

When people say they make protein smoothies, that's great, but why not take it up a notch and make it a green protein smoothie? By green, I mean spinach or kale. Trust me, it doesn't taste gross ;) It's my go to breakfast most days because it's quick, easy, and portable. There are endless flavor combinations (much like the protein balls), but here is one of my favorites: the Chocolate Pumpkin Kale Smoothie.

Add almond milk, kale, banana, pumpkin, chocolate protein powder, cinnamon, and ice to blender

Blend

End result

Pumpkin Kale Smoothie

Ingredients:

-1/2 cup almond milk

-1/2 - 1 scoop protein powder

-1/2 tsp cinnamon/pumpkin spice powder

-2 bunches kale (use less if this is your first time)

-3 cubes pumpkin (I freeze pumpkin puree into ice cube trays)

-1/2 frozen banana

-4 cubes ice

*Note: add more ice/frozen fruit to make smoothie thicker. Add more almond milk/water to thin smoothie out.

Directions:

Add everything to a blender. Blend. Drink and enjoy.

PALEO FLOWCHART

This is Paleo according to me! It is a whimsical look at how I view paleo. 

If this does not give you answers, at least it will provide a bit of entertainment.

Admittedly, the inspiration for this Flowchart came from something that was sent to me.

I altered it a bit and gave it my own flare. I hope you enjoy the hell out of it!

-Manni

Go BALListic

Get excited people. Like really, really excited. I have some treats for youuuu! Behold my awesome, delicious protein balls! Quick to make, endless flavor combinations, and great for a snack. I've been making these balls for the past couple of months now, and they are GOOD. Here are 2 recipes to get you started (starting with my favorite).

Banana Nut Balls:

-5 dates

-1 cup banana chips (TJ's has the best in my opinion)

-1 scoop cake batter protein powder (Muscle Milk)

-1 cup almonds/wanuts*

-2 tbsp coconut oil (melt by microwaving it for 10-15 sec)

-1/4 cup raisins (optional)

-3 tbsp agave-1/2 tsp cinnamon

-sprinkle of nutmeg

-1/4 tsp vanilla extract

*If nuts are unsalted, then add some salt.

Add dates, protein powder, banana chips, and nuts to a food processor. Pulse until everything gets broken down. Add the rest of the ingredients and pulse until mixture comes together. If the mixture is too dry, then add more agave or oil to help it stick. Form into small balls and snack away. These can be stored at room temp, in the fridge, or freezer. Personally, I like them straight out of the freezer.

Consistency of the mixture you're looking for: Store in plastic container

I realize these aren't the prettiest pictures, and it's very....beige. But I promise they taste like little nuggets of heaven. That is not at all an exaggeration :)

Carrot Cake Balls:

-1 cup carrots

-1 scoop cake batter protein powder (Muscle Milk)

-1/3 cup raisins

-3/4 cup walnuts/almonds*

-1/2 tsp cinnamon

-sprinkle of nutmeg

-1/4 tsp pumpkin pie spice

-1 tsp agave (optional)

-1 tsp maple syrup (optional)

Follow the same steps as above, or do what I do. Put all ingredients into a blender that is the beast of all blenders, aka a Blendtec. Pulse until mixture comes together. Form into balls and enjoy! Refrigerate or freeze these because the carrot makes these more susceptible to spoiling.

Meet Alfred, my Blendtec

Alfred doing a job well done. Note that this was after just 4 pulses.

These are just 2 recipes, but realize that you can make anything you can think up. Other ideas are chocolate-pb (or almond butter), blueberry-almond-vanilla, pistachio-blueberry, chocolate-coconut, strawberry-mango. Be creative. Have fun!

I'd be happy to post up recipes for other flavors (chocolate, blueberry, strawberry bases), so feel free to give me a shout. Let me know if any of you tries making these. I'd love to see how it goes for you!

Fruit sucks!

Question:
Dear Manni. Why can't I have fruit? I like fruit. 
Since I cannot eat cookies, I should be able to eat fruit, right? 
Answer:
Precisely... wait, I mean no, but yes, but not really.
The problem, my dear friends is C12H22O11.
Don't know what that is, pumpkin? It is Sugar - and fruit packs it a plenty. 

I find that a lot of people like to overindulge on fruit when they go Paleo. Complex carbs that are found in breads, grains, pastas, etc are broken down into sugar and then stored as fat. At this time, your body is accustomed to these type of eats. Since Glucose, Fructose, Sucrose (too name a few) are molecularly similar, your body will take it (as a "fix") if that is all that is available. Fruit is basically being used as your Methadone. Therefore, some people will begin to eat too much fruit at the cost of calories and vegetables. 
So, oh studly one, will I need a multivitamin?
No you do not, sunshine. You want to know why?
Because there are no nutrients in fruits that cannot be found in vegetables. Go ahead, name a nutrient... better yet, click here. There is a quick link to nutrient information of a variety of vegetables. All that a healthy body needs. 


Wrapping it up:
If you need fruit to survive the Paleo Challenge, by all means - go for it. The purpose of the limited fruit at the beginning of the challenge is more my own doing/design than anything else (albeit reasonable). 
I can give you how's and why's until the cows come home, but instead I will leave it to your own will. If you would like more info, find me at the box.


Go eat some veggies, bitches!


-El Comando Negro




ps - fruit doesn't suck, it is pretty awesome!

Look at my fridge!

Middle shelf: Almond milk, cabbage,
food containers ready to take to work,
coco-water, seltzer water, and other drinks.

 

What up my Paleo peoples?

I am prepped for my Paleo Challenge!

I went out and bought a variety of proteins, veggies, and fruits. I am committed to staying as close to true Paleo as possible. Check out how pimp my fridge is. I stocked up on some paleo-baller food! 

You should know that as you continue paleo, you will find yourself spending more time at the supermarket. These extra trips should be for quick perishables such as veggies. Remember to stick to the walls of the market, there are very few reasons to go into the aisles. I buy in bulk (Costco) when I get the chance, like when I need meats. To save time, I marinate meats and then vacuum seal them - as illustrated at the bottom.   

In these containers: Rotisserie Chicken,
Spinach Salad (w/many other veggies)
Ribs on the bottom.

My non-paleo eats will (hopefully) be limited to Protein Bars and Muscle Milk shakes - both will be consumed within an hour of a WOD only. If I don't WOD, I won't have them. If you need a quick snack, why not hard boil some eggs - If you look at my fridge, there are several cartons there - go ahead and boil a dozen and keep them handy. 

Stay tuned for more tips to Paleo success!

How is your day #2 going thus far?

Keep it G,

-M

Top drawer: Cucumbers, avocado,
Bottom left: mixed greens, kale, carrots
Right drawer: 2 big ass pork loins

Right side (fridge door) is mostly off limits  -
w/the exception of mustards, and some salsas

 

Frozen veggies, chicken,
chicken sausages, fish, and steak
(I marinated and vacuum sealed some) 

Lamb in the left corner.
Veggies, meats, frozen fruit for smoothies. 

is coconut milk paleo?

Its easy to get but comes in a can; not sure if canned coconut milk is considered paleo or not?